ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!

Well in the day to day second pregnancy world I am finding that I am not inspired to write............boo I have so much to share and not enough energy to do it!

Well guess what today I DO!  AND I AM EXCITED!   Still wrapping my head around the news that we will be welcoming a daughter into the world next June!  You see I always pictured our family with two boys........humm God has thrown me another loop - an awesome one at that!

There is a new test to look for Down's Syndrome markers, called Maternity 21, which you are also able to see the X & Y fetal chromosomes as early as 10 weeks!   Well the wonderful news is that our chances of Down's is very low and there were no Y chromosomes detected!  Sooo here comes baby girl Wynn!

I am also happy to report that I think I am feeling a tad bit better, though I still have my days!  But you know I will just focus on the good ones for now........through the first trimester and on to the second! Hip Hip Horray!

So a girl!  Yikes I see shopping, girly stuff, headbands, oh and sweater tights...........and more shopping in my near future!
AND a new nursery to decorate - ok my favorite part!   I have a design in my head already.... lets call it "rustic chic"! HUMMM that sounds interesting huh! You can count on photos ......

We have alot of fun ahead baby girl!

XOXOXOX

Baby News!

Well it has been a week and two days since we found out the big news about ONE baby Wynn on the way!  I intended to write the day of and you know I have felt so off my game and so yuck that my fingers never made it to the keyboard to write!  I am bummed that I missed that momentous excitement on paper ...... but one thing is for sure I won't forget :)  Seeing the flicker of our little "punky's" heartbeat for the first time was so encouraging, emotional and simply a miracle!  How amazing that we are going to have two miracles thanks to the amazing technology of IVF!

Quick note, we decided to call this baby "punky".  Hudson has always been peanut and this little one we decided to nickname "pumpkin" since it is fall Halloween/Thanksgiving.  Well "punky" came to be because that is what Hudson calls a pumpkin.........so hence this silly little name :)

I will be 9 weeks tomorrow and boy I am counting the days until this first trimester is over.  I typically don't feel like I'm a baby when it comes to aches and pains and such but man these last few weeks are rockin' my world!  Getting through one day without a melt down of some kind is unheard of these days..........between the extreme fatigue the nauseous feelings ALL DAY long the short temper & lack of patience is probably the hardest! I am sitting here counting the minutes until I can bury myself in bed and shut my eyes!  BOOO I don't like this ..... :(      Believe me I know the changes my body is making and the development of the baby and I find myself trying to meditate on this hourly to try and stay up.

SO I know this probably sounded so boo hoo but I've decided to keep it real!
  I look so forward to getting some energy back and rockin' this pregnancy happily!
 I will.......this too shall pass :)

Good nite at 6:53 pm!

LOVE YOU LITTLE PUNKY!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXO

WAITING, WAITING & more WAITING!

ULTRASOUND TOMORROW... FINALLY!

Tomorrow we will hopefully hear our baby(s) heartbeat and get our exact timeline - BIG day and yep I am anxious!

It's been kinda easy ( until today ) to focus on other things, things like feeling nauseous and exhausted every minute of every day. To make it through an entire day without napping has been rough.... working 8 hours ugh I can't!   One thing I know for sure is that my symptoms are not only different but they are much earlier.... thinking round #2 will be challenging! Bring it on -
I can do this right!?

Today as I was driving from one customer to the next I got a good chuckle when I thought back to 2009 when we really got "serious" about starting our family!  We finally made the decision ( again) and had a timeline worked around vacations and other events - we had it all planned out! I went online and purchased ovulation kits and even some type of tea ( yes tea) that was supposed to make me more fertile and ready for pregnancy.   I received all of my goodies in the mail and even got a tiny plastic bag full of "baby dust"... well wishes to get pregnant I suppose.   Well little did I know then how much MORE would be involved besides some confetti in the shape of storks and babies!   Seems pretty comical now, but I guess it is sweet that at one time I was so naive right! 

Four years later and two rounds of Invitro I have a new appreciation for infertility and how it can impact a woman, a family - everything!
We are blessed this I know.  I am so looking forward to walking down this path that God has laid out for us & has known we would travel.

I can't wait to write tomorrow..... big day, big news!

Numbers!

 

 

HUDSON                                     NEW BABY(S)

1st test HCG level:             100                                                   219

2nd test HCG level:            226                                                   829

3rd test HCG level:             857                                                 2390

 

First - YA HOO, YIPPEE, HORRAY..........

 confirmation times 3 that I am indeed pregnant!

 

                                 Second - this comparison is indeed significant- NO doubt!

So yes higher HCG levels can indicate multiple little ones........however folks I have done my due  dilligence researching this and honestly this is a possible indicator but not a definite sign. 

 

I have not back tracked enough on my blog to tell you that we had 2 embryos implanted on 9-28-13.

One was a 8B and one was a 4B.   Number being the amount of cells and letter meaning the "grade".

Grade A being the best and a high number of cells being the best of the best!  We had neither.....our shining star was Mr./Mrs 8B!  So could they have both implanted?... yes.... did they?.... we will not know until our first ultrasound in two weeks!

 

Honestly, I am not worried ..... Wade maybe a little...........me not so much.  The real deal is that God has this all worked out already, so if we have more than one miracle on board  apparently he feels this is what our family is supposed to be!   Does this mean I wouldn't be scared out of my mind....no, no not what I am saying at all.  Just sayin' that it doesn't matter if I worry, panic or freak out, its gonna be what its gonna be!

 

Right at this very moment I am feeling peaceful, relieved, & hopeful  knowing I can close my eyes and dream of holding another sweet little body in my arms!    Physically I feel exhausted and if I don't take a hot/warm bath to ease my back pain I may scream.........  I also lost my patience about a million seperate times today............but in the end   IT'S ALL GOOD!

 

GOODNIGHT!

XOXOXOXO

 

 



 

POSITIVE, POSITIVE, POSITIVE

How crazy that I have not posted since our news on Friday afternoon!

Truly  I think I am just letting it all sink in!   How awesome is this, how ecstatic we are!
It worked on the first cycle AND with a Day #3 transfer!  Unbelievable - exactly like Hudson our first miracle babe!

I have two more pregnancy tests to go to make sure my HCG levels are increasing as expected.  One tomorrow and one Wednesday.... I know that I will feel re-assured and be able to do an even bigger happy dance once we see these numbers!

Roughly 60 injections later( not including my daily MS injection) and many more to go we are seeing the light at the end of this exhausting but amazing process!
Though my progesterone and estradiol shots will remain in the picture for weeks to come I will have a new sense of hope & a specific little being to do them for :)

So many prayers answered already, we cannot wait to see God's plan for our
family unfold!

Fragile

8:44 pm Wednesday - 2 days....

I found myself searching for a description of my mindset today..... the only word that came to mind was FRAGILE.  I looked up the definition and it said : easily broken or damaged;
very delicate; not strong.  Hum well "damaged" doesn't fit and neither does "not strong"....
but I would say delicate is probably on point. 

It probably sounds a little out there but I feel like I have been protecting a new, little
potential life starting inside of me. Hard to explain and even harder to put it out there for you all to read but man is that " mama instinct" or WHAT!  I find myself physically protecting my tummy from Hudson's wrestling and mentally.... well so, so much going on mentally.    10 days from our embryo transfer, only 10.

I really can't think past Friday afternoon, this is a big day.   The outcome will determine what happens next.........at this point I know that I want to hold a little baby in my arms more than ANYTHING.  With that being said  I don't think I can endure another round of IVF.

This post was supposed to be about how we chose our donor egg mama......however I am so tired I cannot see straight so I am going to save that for tomorrow!

Thank you for all of the support and love to all of you that have reached out :)

Goodnight!

One Day Closer

10:53 pm, four days to go....

Hard to believe we are getting to the end of our journey!  Four days to go and we will know, the day cannot come any quicker for me....for us!
I tried my best to make it through this day without a nap but low and behold the dreaded headache showed up at 2:00 as is usually does and an afternoon nap followed.....geez I feel old and or pregnant :)

Taking you back a ways to the end of April when we decided to look into our IVF options. We quickly learned that there is a way to test the viability of a women's eggs.  Two separate tests  are done together to get a pretty close view of what the egg quality looks like.  The outcome can be sad, as in our case, but truthfully I feel like this is pretty darn awesome ..........I would rather know than try, and try and try and try & not succeed!   Wow technology rocks in this day and age!

Mourning the loss of not being able to give birth to another child with my genetics, my traits, my appearance.... my anything took a while to grasp.
Peri menopause at 39 seriously?!  So THAT explains my hot flashed over this past year... my little eggs were becoming quite "mature"! 
  AH HA, well at least there is a reason right!

Then what?  We learn that we can "adopt" eggs! YOUNG eggs, viable eggs!
Eggs that a woman has donated on her own free will - this truly rocks my world because I have been there and know the toll it takes on your body!  I was so leery at first wondering what type of girls are these? How did they ever know about this? Have I been living under a rock- I had NO idea?
Well we learned from our psychological session that these amazing,generous women are the blood donor kind of people - the kind of people that want to give back, they want to help!  There is money involved but let me tell you, I have done this and honestly what they get paid is not near being worth how extremely hard it is!  GOD bless this women!  And God bless us finding our perfect donor...

Another long process to mention so we will but that note on pause for now..
Time to count sheep , see you tomorrow!


L

Day # 8.....Must write!

WE'RE BACK.....

BACK ON THE WYNN  BABY TRAIN # 2!!!

It is 11:44 pm on Day # 8 post embryo transfer.....getting a late start  I KNOW!

Well I questioned whether I had the time and/or energy to blog this time around and after tossing and turning in bed for the last 2 hours I decided YES I must do this.... for the memories.....for my sanity....it dawned on me that YES I sure do have time since I cannot sleep! AYE AYE AYE

There is so much to fill in backtracking from this blog....  from decision time late April, egg viability testing, donor discussions, psychology evaluation, donor matching, to starting our IVF cycle .....to TODAY!  Let me assure you that I will fill you in on all the fun stuff that has led up to now. In the meantime tonight I will journal my current emotional and physical state.... oh boy!

Truthfully I sat down tonight to go through my previous IVF blog to see how I felt & where I was!

I wondered hummm " did I forget about this back pain?", "did I forget that I can cry over a dead bug?" or " is my mind playing tricks on me?", " can I really feel pregnant this early?"

Seriously I was looking for some re-assurance that I did indeed go through this before and God 

conveniently made me forget???

Well from what I have read so far it seems that the first time at this stage with Hudson I felt pretty good! All good and well however it makes me a little nervous that this time is SO entirely different!

Not a shocker that I am feeling EXTREMELY hormonal.......& my back hurts worse than a normal day! To be 100% real here I have been feeling yucky, icky, sad, happy, hopeful ...... and soo soo soo tired, & just a plain grump!

I am over the "not getting too excited or hopeful thing" and really just trying to stay afloat with out my husband & dear Hudson running far, far away!  I am TIRED of the shots & TIRED of not feeling like ME!  Without a doubt this time has been harder....it is because I am a couple years older or the fact that that this time I have a toddler?   OR?

On that note though I know from our first miracle that this too shall pass..

this is SO VERY VERY VERY worth it........

still NOT EASY FOLKS......

I have to attempt sleep again but rest assured i will be writing again soon ....

FOUR more days until our first pregnancy test! Waiting & yearning to see God's plan unfold!!

NITE NITE 

L